


Mixed Signals

by Zappy



Series: Crimson Spade [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gordon is so done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 16:24:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7691458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zappy/pseuds/Zappy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was June 18th. And Gordon really wanted a smoke. He was waiting for the caped crusader to arrive...and he shows up. Just not the one he was expecting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mixed Signals

**Author's Note:**

> More funny than anything plot building. And for a change, it’s in Gordon’s POV because I really wanted to get into his head-space for meeting Hood the first time. It’s nice to see what others do when they look at Hoody. Also- think of Gordon’s voice as Mitch Pileggi’s rendition from The Batman: Animated Series whereas Bat’s voice is Kevin Conroy. Hood’s voice however… changes in my mind. Some days it’s Mark Hamill… some days it’s Troy Baker… some days it’s John DiMaggio. It’s often Jeff Bennett. Like his history it’s multiple choice!

Earth 696 – Gotham City Police Station

                Commissioner Gordon stared out at the murky clouds and smog that made up Gotham’s skyline. The biting chill of the city was barely held off by the thick trench coat he was wearing and he put his hands in his pockets to try and keep them warm. He didn’t know what he was doing anymore.

                Very purposefully not turning to look at the signal he’d just had installed, Gordon pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He had barely let out the first wisps of smoke when he heard feet land on the roof of the Police Station behind him. Impressed that he’d heard them this time, he turned his head just as a voice spoke out to him.

                “You know- those things kill ya, Comish.” A slightly sing-song voice echoed in the night. Gordon’s guard was immediately up because that was _not_ the voice he’d been expecting.

                He remained silent and turned to look in the direction of the shadows the voice was coming from. As he waited, a figure stepped out and gave a flourished bow. The man was wearing a black suit, but not the kind he saw on Batman. It was the kind someone would wear to a fancy dinner or a showing. But that was where the oddities of the situation ended and normalcy began. Covering the man’s head was a large red canister like helmet, and connected to it was a deep red cape.

                Gordon shook his head slightly and wondered when masks and capes were his new definition of normal.

                “Pleasure to meet your acquaintance Comish. I go by Red Hood.” The man said while standing straight once more, his cape cresting over his shoulders. Gordon couldn’t figure out where exactly to look… the mask was entirely blank. At least Batman’s mask had eyes he could attempt to meet.

                His stance was stiff and his hand was slowly moving towards his gun as unnoticeably as possible. He watched as Red Hood leaned one arm against the signal and crossed his legs. The man tilted his head and there was a sound of a huffed sigh.

                “Y’know Comish, a guy could get jealous with all these goodies going to Bats. He’s not the only caped-crime-fighter in this town… even if he _is_ the most dreamy. Or… nightmare-y depending on which side of the line you’re standing on. I mean I understand the desire to mark the city with a giant Bat in the sky, let the little people scurrying about know Bats is real. Can you believe some people still think anyone’s crazy when they mention Batsy? I get the urban legend thing he’s got going, but you’d think if enough people claim sightings _Gotham would get it_.”

                Gordon could barely believe his ears. He’s not exactly sure what half this guy is saying, he seemed to be rambling. Still not letting his guard down he however let his body language relax slightly. Best to let the guy think he was comfortable and let him drop his guard first.

                “A lot of people still believe in Santa Claus, how is this any different? I mean think about it; a fat man in red breaking into people’s places and leaving pretty packages? While riding reindeer rooftop to rooftop? Sometimes the world just seems so loose in the head. Heheh,” Red hood chuckled lightly as he made elaborate hand motions along his speech. After his laugh he seemed to stiffen for a moment before leaning once more on the signal.

                Before Gordon had a chance to ask about his strange body language, a deep voice came from behind him.

                “The people who believe in Santa Claus are children, Hood. Adults are much more skeptical and cynical about things. Usually.”

                Gordon spun on his heel, surprised to see Batman standing not three feet behind him. Dropping his shoulders, as well as his hand from his gun, he let out a heavy sigh. “You should invest in a bell. You’ll give me a heart attack at this rate.”

                Batman only hummed softly and Gordon knew that no such thing would happen.

                “What are you doing here Hood?”

                “Well, good evening to you too _Batsy._ I thought I’d pop in to see who put up the blinker. I mean your signature is practically all over it and it seemed like the place to be tonight. Where ever you are usually is.” Red Hood patted the signal that was still on with something Gordon thought looked like affection. He sternly told himself he didn’t want to know.

                “I see you two know each other,” Gordon said while turning back to Batman, “So are there any other masked vigilantes I should know about out there, or are you and the Red guy it?”

                “Red _Hood_ , thank you very much. Hoody for short if you must.”

                Gordon stared at him for a moment. “I’ll… stick with just Red Hood.”

                For some reason, Red Hood let out a snicker at that and seemed to be holding in more laughter. Only raising an eyebrow he turned to Batman to give him a look asking what that was all about. If he didn’t know better Gordon would call the look the Bat gave back one of slight embarrassment. He was distracted by Hood saying something under his breath that sounded like ‘ _just_ batman’.

                The Commissioner’s folder of ‘things to not think about’ was growing thicker. Batman turned to Gordon for a moment and told him, “There’s no one else on my radar Commissioner. The rest are all mad men and egomaniacs.”

                “I’m the only other one crazy enough to do this hapless heroic hobby!” Red Hood chuckled. The look Batman shot him chilled Gordon’s spine. He couldn’t help but think to himself that they were total opposites in just about everything. The man couldn’t see it because of the mask, but he had a pretty good feeling Red Hood was smiling at Batman.

                Red Hood seemed to get himself together and finally stepped away from the Bat Signal. He made his way over to them both and put his hands on his hips. “So… Back to my original question before this entire bunny trail hopping, when can I expect a Red Signal? I was thinking the shape of a spade,” he pulled a red metal spade out from behind him and held it out to Gordon, “it’s sort of my _calling card_ if you will. I don’t want a big light, oh no, spotlight’s gotta be on the _star_ here, and that’s none other than Bats. But I mean it’d be nice to have a little blip.”

                What had he gotten himself into? Gordon blinked and just looked down to the throwing spade he held in his hand. Sometimes he wished he never left Chicago. He opened his mouth to reply, but not entirely sure what he was going to _say_ , when Batman interrupted him.

                “He’s joking. Don’t let it get to you Gordon.”

                “Aw Bats don’t tell him that! Comish I’m comp _letely_ serious.”

                Gordon stared long and hard at that red mask. And knew in his gut that Red Hood was one hundred percent pulling his leg. Something about the way he said that last sentence, like he was fighting a smile. He sighed and handed back the spade. “Get out of here. Find a mugger to tie up. I need a cup of coffee to even think about dealing with tonight. Maybe something stronger than coffee…”

                Batman turned and flew off the building without another word, swinging into the depths of Gotham’s night. Red Hood however gave the Commissioner a salute before leaping away. Gordon shook his head.

                “Heroes.”


End file.
